I used to think Everyone was like this.

Kurt. I love the fucker because he's such a fucking psycho. You can read some people's diaries and they remind you of a self-obsessed flamingo, but you can read others and they're so fucked up they make you want to jab a pencil into your wrist before hell becomes any more deep. I respect that. I always have respected that. On some level, complete and utter nothing, melancholy, and whitish-grey is real and nothing else. The world can be complained about and cried over until it just goes down and down, and eventually it reaches to Kurt. Life becomes more and mre real until it can't take itself and dies. Sanity can become more and more sane until it is so insane the gas pops your eyeballs out. It can't go much further until you put a fucking pistol through your head and call it all even.

What I'm trying to say is I respect mental illness but I want nothing to do with it. I'd rather be a child, thank you. Forget fucking Kurt, forget sad music, forget the index and the idol. I am more concerned with the sun in the sky and my bones and my adrenaline. See the stars and hug your best friend, don't cry for death.

There is a spectrum- a spectrum taking the form of a parabola. Actually, more like one of those things in quadrant 2 that curve towards infinity on both the y and x, but never touch it. Red is on the Y and imperial violet is on the X. You're never going to touch the X, never at complete peace, and Kurt never touched the Y, but you can get pretty fucking close.

Actually, now that I think about it, it is a parabola, and the tops are both red. Your goal is to be somewhere around zero, at the bottom curve.

Yeah, you see that? The point I'm making is fuck curves. I don't want anything to do with them.

"I would rather be fucking in it, than down here with you." --Winona

I would rather be in it than down here with you. I love you, Kurt. You're insane. I have a glimpse of what you tasted every second, and I have to say, I'm turning around now.

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