I need help. I am a soulish man. I care obsessively for things that do not matter. I couldn't pinpoint what those things are if you asked me, but I have been brainwashed with the General Act of Living. I am terribly uncertain, terribly concerned, and I don't even know for what. I only know that I am concerned to the point of death and it is for something that I cannot discover-- something that I know is impossible to discover.

Something I do not deserve to discover.

I need help. I am bitter, foul, grossly deceived. I am vermin, I am a snake. I am horrible. I poison whatever I'm around. I am venimous. I am Hate and Ugliness. My skin is crawling with toxins. The inside of my body is dirty and rancid. I spread that in the world which is cruel and miserable; dank and fearful. I am wrecked. I have fallen.

I am low! I am burried! I am dead! I am death. I induce our world to vomit. I am the salt, the acid, the damp green smoke rising from the back alley dumpster. I am a disease. I am the cancer that killed your family.

Stone me! Beat me to death with a bat! Spread my wickedness across the ground with the sole of your shoe! Let me all disperse on the pavement before you, brain tissue, tendon, nerve stems, and then wash it all away with a bucket of clean water! Let there be life again in my place.

I am foul. I am dishonest. I am untrue. I deserve the worst. Beat me. Kill me. Make me hurt real bad. Turn me into a ball of pain. I don't deserve your time. I don't deserve your gaze. Throw me into the river and be gone.

Do you remember what I used to be? Do you remember when you looked at me and saw something good? Something fresh? Something true? That was a long time ago. You probably didn't know me. I barely remember it at all.

I am ruined. I have fallen.

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