NEW PICTURES!!!! WAAA!!!

http://photos.yahoo.com/maddiel333

Good old-fashioned Europe awesomeness. ...and some token photos I discovered stashed away.

I've got this rough urge to buy country land with all of whatever money I have, and to start from scratch with my bare hands tilling the land, cutting down trees, building a house, and seeing if I can survive. I want to plan none of it. I want to simply go to a place, and start digging, with only the clothes on my back. I want to feel myself go. I want to see if I eventually save up enough to buy a horse, or chickens. I want to see if I eventually become efficient enough that I have time to study aerodynamics and build myself a glider. I want to see if I make it through the winter. I want to see if I ever make it to the point where I have enough time at the end of the day to cook myself a proper meal with vegetables I'll have grown myself and afterwards knit in a chair next to the fire.

I feel as though surviving is an instict I possess with an aching intensity, but cannot soothe, given my set in a modern society. I am theorizing that maybe the purpose in life that I crave but never attain is nothing more than the animal instict of survival.

It has gotten to the ridiculous point where if you go into a grocery store and you drop an apple on the floor, you will get a new apple! You go into a grocery store and there is FOOD EVERYWHERE! What kind of game is this? What the hell is all this for? You go to work, you get your pay, you go to the store, you get everything you need to survive, and you sleep then and repeat the next day. Where's the worth in that?

Hard work, I guess, is what I'm getting at. Nothing feels better than hard work; nothing feels more invariably right. If you survive because of your own sweat and blood, then that's damn good. A reward after a LONG HAUL. People have had to do it for thousands of years, and most of them didn't even graduate from kindergarten. I've got a High School Diploma-- I would probably be okay.

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